Woozle/Jenny/Dear Ghost-Jenny/2018/01/13

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January 13, 2018

Dear Ghost-Jenny,

You objected to my referring to you as a "savior" (as in "friend-and-savior"), on the grounds that this was too much like hero-worship.

The fact of the matter is that you did save me in at least one or two major ways. You certainly saved me from the empty, friendless life I had before. I can't picture anyone else seeing me clearly enough to even attempt that. (Even if you were originally just flirting based entirely on physical attraction, as we got to know each other you were paying attention. You didn't veer off when I perhaps wasn't quite what you expected. You saw something of value in me. Nobody had done that before.)

By doing that, you may have saved me from a path that would eventually have led to despair and suicide. I don't think there's any way to ever know where it would have gone, but it feels like that's where it was going. I wouldn't have had the memory of our friendship to sustain me, I'd never have met Tigger, or Hilary, or Sandy, or any of the friends I met through her. Maybe I would have met similar people though other means, but I can't picture it. Every solid friendship I have can be traced back to you.

As I have said elsewhere, I don't worship you. I never believed you to be flawless or perfect. I just... you were brilliant and wonderful and I miss you more than words can ever adequately express.

Your friend always,